Big Brother - Did They Or Didn't They

This year's Big Brother was always going to be the sexiest one. They filled the house with sex-mad freaks and stood back to see what happened. With everyone in the house being either bi- or trans-sexual it helped the odds of something happening; everyone could potentially fancy anyone else. It started off well. Jason turned up wearing just a thong. What, in case taking off more clothes might slow you down to getting the sex? Shell's been saying that she's never gone fore more than three weeks without some lovin' and doesn't sound like she's going to break that habit now. Even dippy Emma is from Oldham, which makes her rude by default. It's like the old joke, "I said to her 'could you show me the way to Oldham', so she grabb..." But it's Michelle who's been leading the way, having tried it on with anything that has a pulse. He motto is probably 'any storm when you're a port'. And now it looks like she may have done it with Stuart. They've been on each other like a statically charged plastic covering from a plaster (ooh, isn't it tricky to get one of them off your fingers). Sadly, at the moment we're not quite sure if we had full touchdown. All viewers could see was movement under the duvet, accompanied by whimpers of pleasure from Michelle, but maybe she was thinking of shoes. There are some clues as to what happened. The Newcastle lass asked Stuart whether he liked her piercing, said to be in such an intimate place that even Big Brother doesn't know where it is. Wow, that must be intimate, like probably through her pancreas. But here is where the facts look doubtful. She started her moves by saying, "You can just lie there if you want and I'll cuddle you." And afterwards the pair then fell asleep in each other's arms. That's doesn't sound like sex to me. Where's the screaming, the moaning, the begging? When Michelle was talking later she said that they hadn't had sex but they'd done everything else but, which according to a quick search on the internet, includes some really kinky and in some cases illegal stuff. A spokeswoman for the Channel 4 show said it was impossible to tell whether Michelle and Stuart had had sex. Which doesn't say much for him does it? [Come back here to www.newsplus.co.nr for regular updates on Big Brother, or see the 'Subscribe' section on the right to get the updates in your inbox.] [See also in blog: Big Brother vs. Hell's Kitchen + Shell + Kitten On A Hot Tin Roof + Vanessa + Case Of The Missing Case + Big Bonker + Big Brother 5]